By The Raquel Peel Editorial Team
Andrew Marshall talks about the three common mistakes Couples make during conflict in this article over at the Gottman Institute blog.
He talks about how if you want to stop arguing all the time, avoid these mistakes. Andrew is a marital therapist with 35 years of experience helping couples make better relationships.
Understanding simple but powerful mistakes that many couples make can really transform your relationship.
The three mistakes are:
- You Change
- Protesting Louder
- Flee and Pursue
And yes they sound simple and you may be wondering how these three little things have such an impact on a relationship but understanding their power and how to break the gridlock is what Andrew Marshall talks about in this article by using these effective solutions.
- Consider that both of you are right.
- Look deeper into the dilemma.
- Stay in the crucible of conflict longer.
- Become vulnerable with each other.
- Find similarities and build on those.
- Going through.
Here is an exert from the article:
They trudged into my therapy office, slumped down at opposite ends of my sofa, and glared at each other. This professional couple in their 50s had yet another fight on the way to their appointment. In theory, it was a continuation of something that started last night, but the truth was they had variations of the same row for the last five years.
“I’ve asked you to be kinder, but you speak to me with such contempt,” he complained.
“But you’re doing things that upset me,” she counter-claimed. “What am I supposed to do?”
They were at gridlock and falling into three common mistakes made by couples with perpetual problems.
If you would like to read more and understand these three mistakes and then what action you can take to move out of these relationship issues please read the article here.