For some people, love is a series of catastrophes. But could self-sabotage play a role?
If you believe you’re unlucky in love, and your relationships falter over and over, it might be time to look at your approach to romance.
Written by Sarah Marinos.
8 September, 2018
Retrieved from The House of Wellness
Many people successfully start a romantic relationship, only to destroy it.
What is self-sabotage?
“Self-sabotage is a strategy people use to protect or enhance themselves,” says Raquel Peel, a James Cook University psychology researcher who is studying why some people self-sabotage their chances of love.
“We believe self-saboteurs hold insecure views of romantic relationships. Although they may appear to be doing all they can to maintain the relationship, failure is the expected outcome,” she says.
“In this situation, a person can guarantee a win if the relationship survives despite everything – but also if the relationship fails because in that case their insecure views are validated.
“Sometimes relationships wouldn’t work out anyway, but sometimes people have good partners and good relationships and destroy them without realising.”