The Guardian: The relationship sabotage scale, quantifying why we undermine ourselves in love

Story found on The Guardian

Written by Janet Stone

11 October 2021

This article discusses the Relationship Sabotage Scale developed by a team led by Dr Raquel Peel.

The Relationship Sabotage Scale, published on 19 September in BMC Psychology, aims to empirically measure romantic self-sabotage (a term more often bandied about in popular culture) in romantic relationships.

Here is an excerpt:

Developed over the course of five studies, the relationship sabotage scale is designed to give analytical rigour to a term more common in pop culture

Do you feel constantly criticised by your partner? Do you sometimes check their social media profiles? Will you admit to them if you know you’re wrong about something?

If you strongly agree or disagree with some of these statements, you might find yourself with a high score on the Relationship Sabotage Scale.

The Relationship Sabotage Scale:

  1. I get blamed unfairly for issues in my relationship.
  2. I often feel misunderstood by my partner.
  3. I constantly feel criticised by my partner.
  4. My partner makes me feel a lesser person.
  5. I get upset about how much time my partner spends with their friends.
  6. I believe that to keep my partner safe I need to know where my partner is.
  7. I often get jealous of my partner.
  8. I sometimes check my partner’s social media profiles
  9. When I notice that my partner is upset, I try to put myself in their shoes so I can understand where they are coming from.
  10. I am open to finding solutions and working out issues in the relationship.
  11. I will admit to my partner if I know I am wrong about something.
  12. I am open to my partner telling me about things I should do to improve our relationship.
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